Tomorrow my boy would have turned 30. I’d
have to say that for the better part of each year since he passed, I am filled
with joy and out-loud giggling when I think of him. He was such a blessing in my life and we spent 22 amazing
years together. But with the approach of May 23rd each year, I can’t
help but wonder… what would he look like now? Would he be married? Have kids?
Be professionally on top of his game? Still be the life of every party? Be
playing his guitar with friends and family? Calling me to ask for advice? Or
just to tell me he loved me? (He did that a lot.)
I miss him.
Those are the three hardest words for me to say out loud. I can talk
about him until the cows come home. I can look at pictures of him and smile
with the memories but I find it incredibly painful to talk about how much I
miss him. Maybe it speaks of how difficult it is to utter gut-wrenching truths.
Are there other things that I find hard to say out loud? I’m going to have to
think about that one.
On the other side of the coin, here’s what
continues to delight me – I can’t say enough about all of you who stay in
touch and include me in your life events… your weddings, new babies, career
advancements, and in a couple of cases, recoveries. To know that he continues to inspire you,
pick you up when you are down, and sometimes actually show up in the form of a
random song on the radio, or a mosquito flitting about your head, or in your
dreams, just when you need him the most… I love hearing your stories. Thank you from the depths of my soul for
this… it keeps his spirit alive and well and it lets me know his love lives on
in all of us.
Next week we celebrate him in the form that
would delight him best… an afternoon and evening of amazing music with friends
and family. It is truly my favourite day of each year as we remember the son,
brother, friend, boy, and man our Dunc was.
For those of you who are able to join us,
we will be hosting a big event at The Two Lions in North Vancouver, on Sunday,
May 31st. Doors open at 4
p.m. and the music starts at 4:30. We
are fundraising for his music scholarship through admission by donation. We hope to see many of you there again this
year! (And yes, Sean will be in town!)
If you can’t attend, but are moved to help
out, check out http://www.accesstomusic.ca/music/scholarship-trust/duncan-mcphee-memorial-scholarship/
Here are a few examples of children we have
been able to help bring music into their lives…
$350 for a 14-year-old to study and be
part of the Lion’s Gate Youth Orchestra in North Vancouver. The annual fee is
$750. The family has 4 children, each of whom play an instrument and want to
become professional musicians. The parents suffered financial losses due to the
father’s bout with leukemia and could no longer afford to provide the children
with lessons or pay for any music activities. We were approached by the LGYO
for assistance as they saw an immense talent in this young musician so they
waived the rest of the fee.
$500 for private lessons in clarinet and
saxophone for young girl from the Philippines who lives with her single mother
who is a home-care provider. This young girl wants to play in an orchestra. She
has done so well that she was accepted into the Greater Vancouver Youth Music
Academy. She is preparing to audition for the Vancouver Symphony Youth
Orchestra next year.
$350 for a 9-year-old to attend Kamloops
Interior Summer School Music Experience (KISSME) for the month of July. The
child suffered physical abuse from her father (parents are separated) who would
beat her if she sang at home or played her flute. Often he would put duct tape
over her mouth until she promised not to play music. The child also has
Asperger’s and became non communicative. The father is now serving a life
sentence for child abuse. The mother informed the KISSME staff that she is now
communicating and is part of her elementary school band and choir.
Oh Duncan, you do good work.
Love Mom.
P.S.
And as always, for your listening pleasure, I want to leave you with
this lovely Dixie Chicks song that I am trying to learn so I can dedicate it to
him one of these days… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AwfaTcBNtWo
And… I can’t pass by an opportunity to
throw in a little SRV… Dunc played this so well… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0vo23H9J8o8
