Finally the words
came! The process of dissolving identity is neither predictable nor necessarily
speedy and being in this personal transition has made posting on this blog a
tricky matter. Whenever I would have a thought to share with you that explained
the process I was in I would no sooner start expressing when I would
hear…wait…that’s not quite it…wait.
If this was a dream
it would look like this. I am in a vast library with floor to ceiling books,
knowledge on every subject, every person, every possibility at my fingertips. The
spines of the book can be easily read and I just need to think of a topic or
question and a book with the answer lands in my outstretched hands. Except then
it would morph, become fluid and change. Nothing is steadfast. Everything is in
flux.
I relate this to a
dream state because in the past this accessing in the Akashic Records was
always less about the mind and more about the intuition. And yet when
information, even intuitive is then filtered through the mind and that deep
seeded human need to make meaning arises, I am being told that now that too calls
for transforming. There are ways of knowing without words, without needing to
label and make meaning.
My glorious,
dependable, safety mechanism, my mind, is dissolving. This is something cellular,
energetic, something else…something without words. Until now.
So when the love song
to the heart found me I was ready. How do you learn to trust air…trust
nothing…trust flying without wings.
I knew the masculine
part of me could not. The action oriented, set a goal, make a plan and follow
through part of me could not take this leap of faith.
The sacred feminine
was having her day and would not be denied. In this communion, energy would
flow…or not…the call for me was always the same, open, release, receive. And
trust me it did not always feel simple or clear especially when I was opening
to stagnant energy that has been stuck in my system for generations.
Is it over? No idea
and I’m pretty sure that question doesn’t matter. I am delighted to say that trusting
only love is real is bringing heaven sent messages in the physical world. And
oh I like that. Sometimes it feels like loving sweetness, other times like
being ravaged by bliss. None of it makes sense and I am completely ok with
that. Crazy wild synchronicities are everywhere and I can be with such a wider
range of energies without reactivity.
The one place my
tolerance has diminished is in my relationship to fear. I can no longer sit
with fear, not my own fear, nor the fear in another. Not even for an instant.
I have given
permission for my life to become what it wants to be.
Take it away heart…
take it away dear soul. My hands are in the air.
Authentically,
Tasha aka Marty
