Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Abracadabra and other magic words.

I can’t begin to describe the breadth of experiences I’ve had this week, ranging from sheer delight in the magic of the universe to seeing a friend choose to go into palliative care to get some relief from her painful suffering. At both ends of the scale lies a common factor – truth.

Let’s start with my friend. She is a lovely, radiant being, full of light and laughter, and currently very ill. We have all rallied around to support her wish to manage her condition holistically, but none of us was prepared for the devastating waves of pain that she often endured for hours. She needed respite from these bouts and we weren’t able to provide that.  Through frank and meaningful conversation, we were able to help her find that her resistance to a higher level of care was seeded in her fear of facing her childhood sexual abuse. Until she was able to begin to confront that, she wouldn’t be able to make choices for her care that were in her best interests. Her fear of having others be in control of her physically was far greater than her desire for relief. Bless her heart, she decided a couple of days ago to go to the hospital.  While I haven’t seen her yet, I hear she is getting some much needed rest and from her daily blogs (which amazingly, she is able to still post), it looks like she is facing her fears head on and talking about them, no doubt helping many others do the same. I am awed by her bravery and her determination. No matter what happens, I know she believes her journey has not been in vain. 

It was through the assistance of our beloved local doctor, who got the wheels in motion for her.  I recently heard he had started a foundation (www.paulsugarfoundation.com), to help those in need of palliative care. I contacted him and he immediately went around to see her at home. I don’t know what he said, but I have no doubt that his gentle kindness went a long way towards making her feel it was a safe decision to get admitted to the hospital.  We are indebted to him for his compassion.

While this was unfolding, I was also in the middle of reading the book, E2, by Pam Grout, at the urging of a friend whose reading choices I respect greatly.  It consists of nine experiments to prove that your thoughts create your reality. To say that I am gobsmacked (or is that godsmacked?) is an understatement. I’m not going to share all my results but a couple of them will give you a taste of this experience.  In one of them, I was to state to the universe (or whoever/whatever you believe to be a field of potentiality) that I was going to see purple feathers within the next 48 hours. I went to work the next day and in walked a friend who I had not seen in a while.  She brought me a gift, accompanied by some very lovely compliments.  After she left, I opened it, and it was a pair of earrings.  And yes, you guessed it.  They were feathers.  Need I tell you there was a substantial amount of purple in the plumage?  Wow.  The next day, I was to ask again for a sign that would help me make a decision that I was currently pondering. For the purposes of an ongoing negotiation, I can’t give you the details – suffice it to say that it involved committing to spending some money that I didn’t have.  I was inclined to choose not to go ahead but it didn’t feel quite right.  Within the prescribed 48 hours, I received a notice from those fine folks in Ottawa who had decided that my income tax return needed reassessing. When I looked at the size of the cheque, I also looked at the payee’s name to make sure it was me!  The amount will more than cover my commitment, should I decide to go ahead with this business proposition.

What has this part got to do with the truth? To me, it’s to be fully aligned with the greater whole, have a connection beyond what I can comprehend and surrender to the knowledge that it is real and true.

I am reminded how blessed I am both to be allowed “in” to someone’s very private process as well as to be the recipient of endless abundance in its many forms.

Branded by hocus pocus and a whole lotta love,


P.S.  I'm so glad I found this version... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRfSbtCFKQ4

Tuesday, November 12, 2013


It’s amazing who comes into your life just when you need a prod in the right direction. Those jolts only hurt if we resist…but I am getting ahead of myself. 
 I have never been a huge fan of back adjustments and just the thought of being cracked into shape when I am in pain or spasm is too much to contemplate. I only found myself on a chiropractors table because my Chinese Medicine Doctor http://www.tanyagee.com/home.html   ( she is a real treasure)  spoke so highly of him and he was just down the hall, plus after acupuncture, pain killers, and heating pads, my lower back was refusing to co operate and relax. Let’s call this state desperate.
 I had been in agony all week, couldn’t walk or sit kind of agony, muscles spasms so fierce it made me want to cry like a baby. I told him I didn’t much like adjustments. He said if you can’t touch the floor after I am done with you on the table we may have to adjust, but let’s see what your body wants. And with that he started pulling and stretching and digging into my muscles while at the same time getting me to dish. He mentions the connection between the lower back and emotional issues of loss and transition. I start talking…yup lots of that going on. I spill my guts, feelings ooze down my cheeks and I am no longer focused on his physical maneuverings, I am letting go.
 “Do you know what this is intuitively, he asks. I nod. “You don’t have to take on other people’s pain”, he says.
Yup, those lights bulbs are popping as I agree that is what I do when there is extreme loss and I feel powerless to help those I love, those who are suffering.

 I let go of that too and in that moment so did my back. I bounced off the table and touched my toes.  None of this is the prodding I was referring to, it was the prelude.

I came back a week later for a tune up. “Oh so you drink greens”, he said as he eyed my thermos filled with blended spinach, kale, sprouts and parsley. Somehow this lead to me talking about my slow metabolism and how unfair it was that I eat so healthy and yet cannot easily lose weight. That’s when he got firm and refused to accept my responses. "Do you want to lose weight?" he said.
“Of course,” I replied.
“Then you will! Make a commitment, you have to want it.”  
“I want it. I want it. I also want ease and softness and living with a gracious relaxed quality.” I insist.
“Oh you want your cake and to eat it too. “he smiles. “Do you realize you have just described your body?”
 I don’t get it for a second. Soft, easy, relaxed? Really?
“Why not just accept yourself the way you are? “he offers.
Yes I have been here before.  But here is the smack down. He refuses to accept my story or reasons for why the weight doesn’t just drop off. He    challenges my ego and I like it. After listening to myself, ‘yeah but’ him for almost an hour I finally hear it myself. The story I am running with is no different than when clients of mine complain about a situation and yet rather than staying committed to action that would change it, keep reinforcing it by believing themselves powerless. By believing the details are real they actually limit the outcome. Worse yet…generate the outcome.

Now I don’t have a lot of tolerance for repetitive stories and you can imagine how hard I laughed when it landed that I was doing just that. Looping around ‘not fair’, ‘can’t do it unless I starve myself’, ‘slow metabolism’, ’soooo unfair’.  Well hell…maybe my metabolism is slow…so what!  I can guarantee it will stay that way if I keep repeating those words.
I realize that if I created my story, I can also drop it and create a new one.
And that is the plan. Physically, emotionally, spiritually….I am dropping my story. I am leaving my name at the door because our names are the identity part of ourselves that hold the story. I am claiming my power to shift my perception and create any desired outcome.
So I want my cake and I want to eat it too. Yup, that’s what I want. Thanks Doc, both for fixing my back and sticking up for the truth that we may not be able to control everything that happens in life but we definitely can control the way we perceive it.
If you are a fan of light bulb moments and tuning into your body/mind connection this is the chiropractor for you.

Now off to the drawing board of my unconscious and imagination. I am going to feel myself into the very thing I desire. And the raw vegan dessert pictured above will help. Gorilla Food 

Branded By: Acceptance

Authentically Yours,

Saturday, November 2, 2013

Leave him lay where Jesus flang him.

When I was a kid, one of our neighbours used to say that and of course, we’d all crack up when he did.  He was a devoted church-goer and a lovely man so it was doubly funny when he said it.  It was code for “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”.

This seems to be my train of thought these days… but with a twist.  I’m looking at parts of my life that I have thought were broken, and that I have spent lots of time trying to fix.  What I’m realizing is that if I look at these same pieces with gratitude, and an understanding of my circumstances, all of a sudden, I no longer need to try and change them. It is what it is.  Or as Popeye would say, “I yam what I yam, Olivsk”.

I’m not talking about giving up, or falling into complacency about my life, or succumbing to defeat.  I’m talking about channeling my considerable amount of energy into getting the absolute best out of every moment, every day, regardless of what it looks like. I love those “aha” moments, when I “wake up” and totally “get” that my current situation is exactly where I’m meant to be and why.

So I find myself realizing that my store, Presence, is not going to provide me with a significant retirement fund. Having been an entrepreneur most of my life, I have failed to put aside enough along the way to make sure that I can always live in the style to which I’d like to become accustomed!  At the same time, being here for as long as I have has been incredibly rewarding in terms of meeting new friends, acquiring new skills, being surrounded by beautiful objets d’art, and amazing scenery. I also have come to realize that when I chose to do this I was at a different stage and a big portion of my decision was made from a need to satisfy an itch stemming from personality, a need to be recognized as a prominent and successful business person in my community.  When I accepted that essentially I already have what I need in terms of approval and appreciation, I have less of a need to keep my store going. Presence has helped me find (pun intended) that what I was looking for was always here.  Within. I want to really zero in on these next few years, and really get clear about what really blows my hair back.  And do it.  Be it.  For the right reasons.  Or at least for reasons that are pertinent to me today.

You can be sure it will have something to do with music, intuitive reading, and helping others find their true path in a healthy and wholesome way.

Stay tuned.  It ain’t over until the (insert appropriate adjective) lady sings.  And I haven’t even started warming up yet.

Branded by the key of C,

Authentically yours,


P.S.  I found out that the expression came from the book, Bird by Bird, a very famous, New York Times bestselling book about writing by novelist and memoirist Anne Lamott. Although I haven’t read the book yet, here are a couple of quotes from it that rang true for me…

“Don’t look at your feet to see if you are doing it right. Just dance.” (p. 112)

and I love this one…

“How would your main character describe their current circumstances to a close friend, before and after a few drinks?”  (p. 47)

And now, gitcher cowboy boots on and have a listen…