Yikes and yippee!

This time of year is a very poignant one for me.  I celebrate both my sons’ birthdays – Sean is now 33, and Dunc would have been 29 this May.  Both occasions bring back so many memories… the first time I held Sean my life changed forever…  (for the better, in case you are reading this, Sean). The minute he was born, the look on his face said “look out world, here I come!”, and he has remained true to that ever since.  He makes me laugh, he is so talented, energetic, and very compassionate. An absolute joy of a son.

Dunc also made a statement in his short life… commitment to extreme achievement and a fierce love of mischief.  He inspired many… and he made us laugh too.  The messages from friends and family each year on his birthday never cease to amaze me.  He is not forgotten and he is loved.

I’ve been so busy being proud of my boys that I haven’t really taken stock of me lately.  It wasn’t until my niece asked me if I would be her texting buddy and tell each other what we are proud about each day, that I started thinking about me. I rose to the challenge, in part because I don’t ever give it much thought and knew instinctively it would be a good thing to do. I wanted to support her too.

We are having a ton of fun with it and it actually makes me do things I wouldn’t normally do – like exercise everyday (instead of coming up with reasons why I can put it off), or taking the time to play piano and learn new songs. It’s actually making me look at my fear of commitment.  Who knew?

One day, I was really coming up empty with things to report and I told her that.  Her reply the next morning…

Just in case no one told you today:

Good morning

You're beautiful

I love you

Nice butt

I cracked up.  She’s great.  I’m looking forward to catching up with her when I go back east for my 60^th (yikes) birthday this week.

Celebrations for that big event have begun in earnest.  Last week, I was fêted at Tao Organics by a dear friend… a fabulous raw food feast and some very thoughtful gifts (my favourite being a beautiful carved box with 60 hand-written quotes on cards, festooned with crystals).  I was so touched by the time and the care put into this gift, it brought tears to my eyes.  I read a quote each morning now and I am reminded of how rich I truly am.

https://www.facebook.com/TAOOrganics

Next on the hit parade is a dinner on Bowen Island with long-time friends tonight.  I can’t wait… they both are amazing in the kitchen and we always have a fabulous time together.

Then it’s off to Oakville where my Ontario-based gang is taking over the Moonshine Café for a rousing jam with some amazing musicians (including Sean – yay!).  I’ll get to see my Mom on my actual birthday too. 

When I get back, we’re doing it all over again at the Troller Ale House in Horseshoe Bay – surrounded by talented friends, we’re kickin’ it up both in my honour and as a fundraiser for Dunc’s charity.  (It’s my way of having him at my birthday party!)

https://www.facebook.com/TrollerAleHouse

http://www.accesstomusic.ca/music/scholarship-trust/duncan-mcphee-memorial-scholarship/

Shortly after recovering from all this frivolity we hit the ground running with Sean and Kristina’s wedding. 

Will it ever end?  I hope not.

I love my life.

Branded by joie de vivre…

Buns.

P.S.  I couldn’t decide between these tracks so I’m sharing both… enjoy.  And thank you for being part of my life.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3QWkWwxdzRk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dELKUivJo4w

Pits and all!

I am in the middle of a four day blind date weekend. He flew up from Sacramento yesterday and we met on Cloud Nine, the revolving lounge with panoramic views of Vancouver. It seemed poetic and a good way to show him the sights without wearing out my high heels. That first moment was good. Lovely eyes, a friendly twinkle and here is the thing with internet dating, we had shared many hours on the phone for the past few months so finally putting a face to the voice, I felt like I knew him. Let’s call him Cali, short for California.

He told me his Dad used to say “This is alright, yup this is alright.” whenever he paused and absorbed the goodness all around him.

I heard Cali say that a lot last night. At Black and Blue as we sat on the roof top by a wall of fire, www.glowbalgroup.com/blackblue/ later at my place for a tequila nightcap that he whipped up called a Cadillac, sipping on my balcony into the wee hours, comfortable with the meandering conversation, yes, it certainly had been alright. For me the cherry on top came when Cali took my hand and guided me into an embrace as we swayed to the music. Can’t remember the last time a man was so old school charming. I liked it. 

And you couldn’t find two souls who appear to be as different as we two. I am transparent, he is guarded. I am an open book, he is very private.  Yet acceptance is something we all crave as human beings. Acceptance when we see sameness is easy, it’s learning to accept another when we see things differently that calls for a rise in consciousness. 

The term acceptance has been bandied about and I believe misunderstood. Certainly when we are in touch with our spiritual nature this state of being is attainable yet we are also human.  In reality no adult can love another without conditions, at least not for very long. The term unconditional love is defined as absolute and unqualified. This type of love is possible with children and pets. But with adult intimate relationships we all have conditions, also known as human needs. And while acceptance is a profound healing process since it means you are continually trying to embrace the whole person you love including their limitations, if you set yourself up to say you should always accept another no matter what, it seems to me that you would have to throw your needs out the window and try for sainthood. And the bummer about being a saint is the long way down in the inevitable fall from grace. Ouch! Been there, felt that.

At best here is what I am committed to doing. I give up trying to change another. I will own and work with any negative thinking I notice in me and I will practice meditating when I feel stuck or in judgment and choose instead to open and soften my heart.

After that, who knows?  I long to have my heart broken open in devotion. I long to breath in grace and surrender to the divine masculine. More on what that means another time. 

And the cherry on top? We shall see. One thing I do know is it is sweet, almost naïve in its simplicity…and alright. Yup…it’s a bit of alright.

Branded by that first juicy bite.

Authentically Yours,

Marty

The cool hunter.

Today marks the first day in probably 25 years that I truly felt I was at no one’s beck and call other than my own.

I cannot begin to describe the absolutely delicious feeling I’ve been experiencing since I woke up… an hour on my deck visiting with my son, relaxing with a view of The Lions (a special sight for me), friends dropping in to help celebrate my first real day of what feels like semi-retirement, and a walkabout in the village to chat with friends without any time constraints. My new home office has a view that’s to die for, and my sense of impending adventure and a new-found level of contentment is making me grin from ear to ear.  What a great way to lead into the next chapter of my life!

That’s all I’m going to say for now.  I’m going to turn this over to a wonderful young woman named Peta Kelly – someone for whom I have a huge amount of respect and who describes what I’m feeling pretty accurately…

Take the time to watch this… and then come back for the rest…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_srLDGFlOhA

Now I’m not twenty-five like she is, but I am on the same course, with the same amazing group of people and I’m excited!

If you are anywhere near as inspired by her as I am, and you want to know more, you know how to reach me. I’m looking for people who want to be cool and do cool things. 

(Both Marty and I would love to hear from you!  healthypresence@gmail.com is our direct email.)

Branded by coolness,

Love Buns

P.S.  What he said.

Forget safety.

Live where you fear to live.

Destroy your reputation.

Be notorious.

Rumi