Saturday, May 17, 2014

Pits and all!

I am in the middle of a four day blind date weekend. He flew up from Sacramento yesterday and we met on Cloud Nine, the revolving lounge with panoramic views of Vancouver. It seemed poetic and a good way to show him the sights without wearing out my high heels. That first moment was good. Lovely eyes, a friendly twinkle and here is the thing with internet dating, we had shared many hours on the phone for the past few months so finally putting a face to the voice, I felt like I knew him. Let’s call him Cali, short for California.

He told me his Dad used to say “This is alright, yup this is alright.” whenever he paused and absorbed the goodness all around him.

I heard Cali say that a lot last night. At Black and Blue as we sat on the roof top by a wall of fire, later at my place for a tequila nightcap that he whipped up called a Cadillac, sipping on my balcony into the wee hours, comfortable with the meandering conversation, yes, it certainly had been alright. For me the cherry on top came when Cali took my hand and guided me into an embrace as we swayed to the music. Can’t remember the last time a man was so old school charming. I liked it. 

And you couldn’t find two souls who appear to be as different as we two. I am transparent, he is guarded. I am an open book, he is very private.  Yet acceptance is something we all crave as human beings. Acceptance when we see sameness is easy, it’s learning to accept another when we see things differently that calls for a rise in consciousness. 

The term acceptance has been bandied about and I believe misunderstood. Certainly when we are in touch with our spiritual nature this state of being is attainable yet we are also human.  In reality no adult can love another without conditions, at least not for very long. The term unconditional love is defined as absolute and unqualified. This type of love is possible with children and pets. But with adult intimate relationships we all have conditions, also known as human needs. And while acceptance is a profound healing process since it means you are continually trying to embrace the whole person you love including their limitations, if you set yourself up to say you should always accept another no matter what, it seems to me that you would have to throw your needs out the window and try for sainthood. And the bummer about being a saint is the long way down in the inevitable fall from grace. Ouch! Been there, felt that.

At best here is what I am committed to doing. I give up trying to change another. I will own and work with any negative thinking I notice in me and I will practice meditating when I feel stuck or in judgment and choose instead to open and soften my heart.

After that, who knows?  I long to have my heart broken open in devotion. I long to breath in grace and surrender to the divine masculine. More on what that means another time. 

And the cherry on top? We shall see. One thing I do know is it is sweet, almost naïve in its simplicity…and alright. Yup…it’s a bit of alright.

Branded by that first juicy bite.

Authentically Yours,

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