Saturday, September 20, 2014

Ch ch ch changes.

 Ah transition...what a fun time...what a pain in the ass. I love knowing that something is unfolding that has my best interests at heart. I love knowing that it will be wild and fabulous even if I haven't a clue as to what the form of it will be. The annoying part is not falling into my old patterns of movement for the sake of movement. Change is a process not an event.

You know unfolding is not a particularly action oriented state. Its more akin to being, trusting and allowing, like the petals of flower opening to the warmth of the sun. We don't pry the bud open to aid it's growth. We patiently trust and offer the nurturing necessary to aid it's flourishing. 

So I feel like that bud right now. At times its tight and I have to resist the urge to break free by doing something radical. Shaking things up has always worked in the past to bring me to my next reinvention of myself.

I have a dream about London and contemplate geographical cures. My friend is moving there soon. What if I move too and we open a practice together? I actually am entitled to a European passport so the thought is not completely absurd. I imagine living in the rain and gloom...bad. I picture the new glossy rain boots and slicker I get from Harrods or perhaps some great vintage stall at Camden Market...good. I like British accents, I would be close to holidaying in cool countries, heck jaunts to France could be weekend possibilities and everything would be brand new.

But it doesn't stick. I recall the pleasure of walking barefoot in the sand, coffee in hand, first thing in the morning in Hawaii. I begin to plot a journey of shamanic proportions and picking fresh fruit for  breakfast. I ignore the idea of tropical storms and tsunamis. And so it goes. 

Transition this time around means things are changing and I am not the only one in charge. I invite a wisdom to guide me that is beyond my will centered functioning. All I can do is notice the synchronicity of the universe and what it is saying to me and keep letting go. More and more things that I couldn't imagine living without are seeming to drift away. People too. And it's ok. I entertain my own mortality and that feels ok too. 

I wonder about regrets. I remember the certainty I held for many years that we were changing the world. I really really did believe that as we helped individuals we had an impact, a ripple effect. I loved that feeling of idealism. I feel it's loss. Then I went through a phase thinking I had to focus on myself and change myself. And now I know that there is no separation between the two. When the change comes from the depths of me, it does change the world. The two are linked. 

And so I wait for that spark of desire and passion to ignite inside me. I send out a call that I am ready for whatever the future holds. I am cultivating. Its a little bit like marinating and while I don't expect an airplane to soar through the clouds dragging a banner of sky writing validation when I am on the right track, I do look for signs.

Bring it...with love and compassion. I invite you into my heart and into my life. I am so ready for commitment. Of course first I have to know exactly what I am meant to commit to. And I don't...yet. What I do know in every fiber of my being is, it 's an inside job.

Branded by patience.

Authentically Yours,

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Thank you Joni Mitchell.

Eleven years ago Joni Mitchell walked into my store to browse.  Being an avid fan, I immediately went verklempt, my hands started sweating, and I was at a loss for words.  When I finally pulled myself together, we began a life-changing conversation (for me) about aging.  

I knew she was approaching her 60th birthday at the time, so I asked her how it felt… she told me that when she turned 40 she wasn’t that bothered, 50 was amazing, she was really excited about turning 60 and couldn’t imagine how fabulous her 70th would be.  I was so amazed at her positive outlook on growing older, that I chose to follow her lead.  This summer, I celebrated my 60th birthday and it was nothing short of magical.  The whole summer long. 

It began before my actual birthday with a lovely lunch with my dear friend Stephanie.  Balloons, gifts, and lively conversation started my 3-month celebration. I was flown back East so I could be with my family on the big day.  My son was able to join us.  We did a live jam at the local Moonshine Café and I felt very blessed by all who showed up.  During that week I was kidnapped, and taken to one of my sister’s new cottage, surprised by a sailing excursion… every day was a new adventure.

I came home to another big party held in my honour, preceded by yet another sailing trip (do my friends know me or what?), lots of music, a generous contribution to my son’s scholarship fund, and a fabulous pair of cowboy boots that actually match my turquoise Mini, (yes, she is now in my driveway… yet another amazing story), and this was only halfway through June!

While the rest of my summer didn’t completely revolve around me, you already know about my son’s fabulous wedding and how much love was in the air on that occasion!

Next I was off to my annual silent retreat and if you have never done one before, it is the closest thing to heaven when you enter that sweet, sacred silence and meet love in its purest form… and be with it for several days. 

Then there was the “Topless Tour”, where we drove Molly the Mini, top down, to perform in Merritt.  I love playing music with my friends, and this weekend was thoroughly soul satisfying.

(I actually did manage to work in between these exploits, and was able to achieve my next level of leadership in my company… I was feted with flowers and food as acknowledgement.)

But wait.  There’s more! I was able to get myself off to San Diego for a 3-day conference followed by a day in La Jolla learning how to body surf.  Have I said I’m in heaven yet?

Twenty-four hours after returning from that jaunt, I was diving into Lake Sakinaw,  helping Marty celebrate her milestone birthday.  It was four days of amazing feasts, wine, story-telling, frolicking in the water, (including learning how to navigate a stand-up paddle board!), and lots of singing and  ’smores!

Back home for less than 3 hours, I was off to sing at a “Music in the Park” event at Cleveland Park in North Vancouver!

And it hasn’t stopped.  There is still an outstanding boat cruise for me and my friends to wrap up my birthday year.  I must tell Joni how right she was.

How do you thank everyone who has done so much to make this the Best. Summer. Ever.? I’ve decided the best way is to continue to spread the joy, love, and light that was directed my way all summer long.  I am so very blessed.

Branded by love,

Birthday Buns. xo

P.S.  Later that afternoon of first meeting Joni, I found her sitting in a restaurant waiting for a ferry.  I approached her and asked if she would mind some company.  She welcomed me to her table and I sang Happy Birthday to her.  I love getting bolder. She not only inspired me to age joyfully, but also my love of singing.  This is the first song I ever performed of hers.  It's from her album Court and Spark, and I was actually singing “in the lounge of the Empire Hotel”... another great song from this album.