I know. I know. It’s been months. So much has been happening it’s hard to keep
up. And actually, a lot of it has been
so life changing that it’s difficult to put it into words… but I’m going to
try.
The much-heralded arrival of Alexander
Duncan, my adorable grandson, features prominently in this chapter. He is a joy-filled little being, and although
I have only seen him once, that’s going to be remedied! They arrive back “home”
in a week. For good. This “Nama” couldn’t
be happier! (They decided to name me “Nama” – short form for Namaste…)
I also decided it was time to test the
adage, “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks”.
I’m not saying that I’m an old dog, but I was starting to believe that
it was time to just accept that there are some things that just weren’t going
to change – like my reluctance to commit to a long-term goal and stick with
it. So I started small… I said I was
going to walk an average of 10,000 steps a day for a year. Yes. I
am a FitBit afficionado. Well damned if
I’m not on track! I’m so impressed with
myself I’m applying it to other regimens in my life and I’m feeling really
great! Wow! Of course I’m inspired by my wee Alex… I want
to be able to keep up with him! So far,
that’s looking pretty feasible!
What else… oh yes… I’ve been crossing
things off on my “to do” list… corrective eye surgery, dental work, rodent
removal from the under the hood of my beloved Mini (yikes), updating my will, you know,
the usual stuff we love to put off for a rainy day…
But I digress. In this hiatus of non-writing, a lot of time
has been devoted to a “who am I and why am I here?” type of inquiry. It continues to be an amazing journey of
discovery and healing and I could write a book about it. Let’s just say that I’m working on truly
living visibly as who I really am inside, vs. striving to sustain a persona
that everyone will approve of. Ironically, I found I was actually suppressing
my joie de vivre… my essential presence. I took to heart the oft-quoted passage by
Marianne Williamson…
“Our
deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are
powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens
us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?'
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small
does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that
other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as
children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light
shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are
liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
… and I jumped into the village fountain. (Well come on... there were bubbles in it!)
Vibrantly yours,
Buns
xo
P.S. You all know me as Buns. Alex et al
refer to me as Nama. My newest moniker
cracks me up… At a recent backyard BBQ on the DODA (Deck of Do Anything!), I
had to put my hair up in a bun because it was getting hot in the sun… one of
the guys said I looked like Pebbles and added McGillicuddy just for the fun of
it. It has stuck and I laugh every time
I hear it…
And how about a little Bonnie Raitt for
ya? This woman inspires me to the moon…
