Live with no time out

I first read this quote by Simone de Beauvoir about a year ago and was quite struck by how much it resonated with me.  What really surfaced as I held its wisdom in my consciousness was that I, in fact, had made quite an art out of living with lots of time out.  When I worked, I worked.  When I played, I played.  And ne’er did the twain e’er meet.

Then, during my cherished two and a half hours each week (my Wednesday-night class) we started to work with evolving ourselves during a time when things are going relatively well vs. using strife, discomfort, pain, grief – find your personal favourite –  to ignite a further maturation or integration of healthy states of being.  It was quite an awakening for me, as I had fully embraced using the painful parts of my life as catalysts for growth.

And equally so, I had fully subscribed to taking time off, which in actuality was a complete disconnect from all that I had accomplished during my years of meditation.  I hadn’t yet come to value what growth I could experience during times of relative ease.

So now I find myself living in one of those times (you know, those kinds of times that you fondly reminisce about… “those were the days”, or some such sigh of wistful recollection).  My new business has been launched successfully (she said with cautious optimism), I am about to perform an opening set for a well-known Canadian rock band (and this has definitely been on my bucket list for years), and I am surrounded by fantastic and supportive friends and family – life is good.  So why should I bother to rock the boat and keep “working”?  I’d always heard, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”

I need to begin at the beginning.  Just decide that I want to continue to grow.  Recognize that when I drop it, it is a monumental task to pick up where I left off.  I’m learning what active rest is.  I’m learning what it is to work seven days a week, willingly, and still have the time to play.

It’s times like these that are so easily looked over (read wasted) in terms of exploring deeper areas of personal enlightenment. In some ways it seems to take more of a self-igniting than if pain were the impetus.  It’s the self-ignition that sparks me (if you’ll pardon the pun).  I’m quite enjoying sitting with this notion.  And I don’t for a minute believe it will all go swimmingly from hereon in.  What I do know is that I can have a better relationship with “what is” and that, to me, is a priceless gift.

Love Buns