See (and sing) with your heart!

What a week!  I’ve been hovering on the brink of a full-on sore throat, sneezing, runny nose, and hoping that it will abate in time for a gig tonight.  (The jury is still out – it’s possible my new sound is husky and sexy...  we’ll see.) I haven’t felt 100% to put it mildly and there are a lot of other things going on that have challenged my sense of humour recently.

A good friend of mine reminded me of the theory of relativity... you can always find someone worse off. And while I’m not one to ever throw a pity party, it does help to reflect on how grateful and fortunate I am no matter how crappy I feel.

Take my evening between 4 p.m. and 5:30 last night – I had just finished a marathon session with my mentor that often involves delving into the deep dark recesses of my life, including relationships, finances, and how I am in the world vis-a-vis who I am (if that makes sense). It was incredibly fruitful.  I came out of her place buoyed with a renewed confidence that I am doing well and that no matter how bad things look on the surface, I am sturdy and I am loved.  And I do know that.  I just need reminding sometimes.

So just as I am on the mend financially, I come outside to find my car had been towed.  Yes.  I dropped the f-bomb. Hailed a cab, and immediately got stuck in Friday afternoon rush-hour traffic, which was even more chock-a-block than usual as there was a power failure and the traffic lights weren’t working. Then the old oh-shit-this-isn’t-looking-good feeling kicked in.  The meter was ticking away and we were going nowhere. And to top it all off, the driver had decided it was alluring and seductive to douse himself with at least a litre of after-shave lotion that might have been appropriate if he were trying to camouflage being sprayed by a skunk.  I was gagging. Fortunately he said he accepted Master Card.  We arrived at the towing compound.  I handed him my card and lo and behold, he couldn’t process it because of the power failure.  As I didn’t have any cash on me, he offered to take me to the nearest ATM.  Off we go, back out into the crawling traffic.  He dumps me off at a gas station.  Their ATM has run out of money.  I get back in the car and suggest he find another ATM.  Back out into the sea of cars, and all of a sudden, this crazed woman jumps in front of the cab, starts banging on the hood, and demands that she gets in with me.  She is hysterically sobbing, and I begin to understand that her friend has just died in the hospital and she needed to get there. The cabbie auto-locked the door (English was not one of his strong points).  I think he thought she might have been just some wild and dangerous Friday-night nut on the loose.  I told him to open the door and let her in.  We spent the next ten minutes speeding as best we could to the hospital, while I did my best to get her to talk about her friend in a way that was helpful to her.  She did calm down and was very grateful for our giving her a hand.

By this time I felt like the cabbie and I were a team.  For some reason, I couldn’t even smell his cologne any more.  He was a very kind person and (after finally finding an ATM that bore fruit), he dropped me off and we parted as though we had known each other forever. We wished each other well.  I was starting to feel better and I hadn’t even faced the music of a towing charge and parking ticket.  I walked up to the wicket, where I was greeted by this radiant young man’s face who was so empathetic (not a quality you expect from a fine collector), that I was completely disarmed. Whoever hired him for the job, knew what he or she was doing.  He could tell I had had a harrowing day and his final words to me were, “Whatever you do, or whatever happens, don’t ever lose that smile.”  I hadn't even given him so much as a grin, but that made me beam.  He said, “See what I mean?  That’s what I’m talking about.” How the hell did he know about my smile?

Aah.  What a day.  I am so incredibly blessed.  I was able to help someone. Someone acknowledged that inner me that is always smiling.  I experienced being who I am in the middle of turmoil and angst.

No pity party tonight.  I’m going to sing.  Doesn’t matter what it sounds like.  It’s where it comes from that counts.

Branded by the sniffles and a grin,

Love Buns xo