A couple of days ago I was asked what I thought was the
biggest change I had ever made in my life and what it did for me.
If you count all the moves I’ve made over the years, the
different careers, the varying hairstyles (from buzz cut to waist-length, from eggplant to blonde), there would be many to choose from. These have all been visible, and some quite
dramatic. But the one I chose for our conversation
was my decision to quit smoking over four years ago.
I hated that I smoked, but I loved smoking. My kids and family hated it too and I always
felt terrible doing something that I knew really bothered them. For me it was a
social lubricant and in some cases a smokescreen to hide what I didn’t want
people to perceive – that I wasn’t cool, that I was just a nerd. If I smoked,
people wouldn’t see that.
I had tried many times to quit, and mostly white-knuckled my
way through the process. Hypnosis,
acupuncture, reward/punishment techniques, and sheer willpower was brought to
bear. Nothing worked. At least not for long.
And then one day, I just decided that the person who was
smoking wasn't me. I no longer
needed any external accoutrements to cause people to think a certain way about
me. Not only that, but it really didn't matter what people thought. That was the nugget. It only took four decades to figure
that one out.
But what was really important to me was not just the obvious
health benefit. It showed me that I had
the capability of evolving my ways in spite of my belief that I was who I was
and ain’t nuttin’ gonna change.
This has had a profound effect on other parts of my life. It
seems once I got it into my head that anything was possible, letting go of
other habits became easier. What may be subtle to others, is hugely apparent to
me but I’m not attached to whether or not anyone notices. I do, and that’s what counts.
I’m not talking about physical habits like nail biting. It’s
more about realizing that I can change the way I respond to life in
general. I’m much more relaxed, safe in
the knowing that most of the stuff that I used to react to has nothing to do
with me. My ability to handle stressful
situations has gone from anxiety attacks to rolling with the punches and
recognizing when it’s simply not mine to do or worry about.
A very wise friend reminded me that I’m not the only one
with a “To Do” list. The universe has
one too, and I’m permitted to put some of my stuff on that list instead of my
own.
I don’t know if this happens to everyone as they approach
the last third of their lives, but for me it is a blessing. I already am appreciating why people rave
about hitting 60.
For me it’s just a beginning. I’m looking forward to it.
Branded by pre-birthday excitement,
Love Buns
P.S. Here’s a little
ditty to add to the mix…
No comments:
Post a Comment