Sunday, March 18, 2012

Sometimes you're the windshield ...

Sometimes you're the bug
Sometimes it all comes together baby
Sometimes you're a fool in love
Sometimes you're the Louisville slugger
Sometimes you're the ball
Sometimes it all comes together baby
Sometimes you're going to lose it all.

Do you know this Dire Straits song? Well this week I felt like I was in dire straits – certainly emotionally.  It had to do with possibly losing it all.  Or at least thinking that was the case.  I came face to face with potentially losing my business location, my condo tenants’ giving notice, sales being abysmal, and a friend seemingly betraying a confidence, resulting in my losing a shot at a long-standing dream I had nurtured for several years.

As miserable as it all felt – and believe me, I hadn’t been this down for years – there was a spark inside that kept reminding me that everything has in it a grain of truth and a nugget of pure gold.  So I ploughed through the muck and came out the other side with at least a 24k chunk.  The story isn’t as important as my finding out that simply by sticking with the uncomfortableness of the situation, and going for gold as it were, that was enough.  No amount of money, acquisitions, relationships make me enough.  That can only come from me. 

When I finally realized that I would be okay if I lost it all, I felt very liberated.  And once I was able to truly accept that, each of the situations took a decided turn.  My new landlord is keen to work out a win/win situation for the business location, my tenants have decided to stay, sales have made a comeback, and I have reconciled with my friend.

Yes, my life has had its fair share of ups and downs but I wouldn’t have it any other way.  As Diane Ackerman so beautifully wrote:

The great affair, the love affair with life,
is to live as variously as possible,
to groom one's curiosity like a high-spirited thoroughbred,
climb aboard, and gallop over the thick, sun-struck hills every day.

Where there is no risk, the emotional terrain is flat and unyielding,
and, despite all its dimensions, valleys, pinnacles, and detours,
life will seem to have none of its magnificent geography, only a length.

It began in mystery, and it will end in mystery,
but what a savage and beautiful country lies in between.

Branded by gold,



  1. Yahoo cowgirl...ride that....what are you riding these days??
    Love love love that whether you are the windshield or the bug you just keep on going for the gold!! That's what makes buns buns!

  2. It began in mystery, and it will end in mystery,
    but what a savage and beautiful country lies in between.

    What wonderful words. Thanks for sharing this. Hang in there. Becky x

  3. Ok I lied, I actually have read all the posts except for this most recent one. Love hearing your process and thoughts.
    Love you too!