Tuesday, January 21, 2014

The ties that bind.

January 20, 2014...

I arrived at work this morning to find a luscious bouquet of white roses from my friend Laura, in memory of my son Duncan.  Laura happened to be with me that fateful day 6 years ago when I first found out that he had died.  It was a raw yet intimate moment and one that is deeply etched on both of us.  I know we will stay connected forever.

Beside her bouquet was another one, with purple tulips and squiggly twigs. I absolutely knew it would be there.  Every year, this bouquet arrives from a woman I hardly know.  There is always a beautiful card and either a poem or a short blessing from her and her family.  I never see her, or talk to her, but her lovely little hand-gathered flowers, greenery and twigs, never fail to appear on the 20th. I don’t have her phone number or her email, so I can’t even thank her.

My first phonecall this morning was from one of Dunc’s friends, asking me if I was going to be at work today.  He would drive out to give me a hug if I was.

And this is just the start… I have had texts, emails, comments, likes and cyber hugs on Facebook, all of which warm my heart immensely and help keep me buoyed in remembering more about his life and what he means to all of us, than about the fact that he is gone. This is the first year that I have felt more joy than sorrow. 

I have another reason to be joyful too and it has to do with the ties that bind and my son Sean.  He and his partner Kristina are getting married this summer and I think I’m just as excited as they are!  I didn’t really get to know Kristina well for the first year or so after they became an item.  She struck me as being quite shy and quiet and it was hard for me to connect at first. It wasn’t until I saw how she interacted with my family back east (and we’re talking a big, boisterous family – I didn’t know if she would actually survive) that made me realize why Sean loves her so much.  She particularly cottoned to my Dad who was starting to really go downhill at the time.  She was so kind, caring, and thoughtful that I knew Sean had picked the perfect person to spend his life with.  I am so happy for them.

We spent last Saturday together and took the ferry over to Vancouver Island to meet with various decorators, wedding cake purveyors, and the wedding planner.  It was great day, punctuated with bouts of laughter, moments of stressful decision-making, and a sense of having crossed a few major items off their list.  Being able to spend a whole “day in the life of S & K”, I found that they really know each other very well.  At one point, Kristina pegged Sean so well as to what he was going to do next, that it sparked a laughing fit for the two of us. I know we will remember that scene for some time to come. For me, I loved that she knew him so well.  For Sean, he loved it that she and I were laughing (quite hysterically) together.  And for Kristina… well maybe she got to know me a bit better too!

2014 is shaping up to be a wonderful year of meaningful and heart-warming connections – old and new – and I’m filled with a sense of wholesome anticipation for what lies ahead.

Branded by connection...

Buns xo

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