Sunday, October 30, 2011

Are you wearing your mask?

After all, ’tis the season … I’m still trying to get the last vestiges of make-up off from last night’s frivolities!

I’m also reliving my recent visit to Ontario to see my Mom and Dad, three sisters and brother, and the rest of the gang. It was a wonderfully wholesome trip – ranging from big family meals, to picking pumpkins at my brother’s farm, to raking leaves (using the Belvedere Flick* method), to playing music until the wee hours of the morning. It seems to me that each visit is better than the last and I am wondering why that is.  At first I thought it was because of something that my family was doing “for” me and then I realized it is actually my doing (or rather, being).  Every time I visit, I allow more of the undefended “me” to show up, and risk having them know me for who I really am – not that “warts and all” type of revealing, but rather one of “I am more and more aligned with my essential Self” where I don’t need to make excuses, defend, or justify myself.  I am comfortable in my own skin, and so they can be comfortable with me. 

At the same time, as I continue to be more often, I am more apt to notice where others still hide or defend their position of who they want us to think they are.  They are not necessarily doing this consciously of course, but I do recognize it now more readily.  It was interesting talking to one of my sisters about it … she happened to mention that one of her friends had made a disparaging remark to her and I could tell it had hurt her feelings.  I gently suggested that perhaps the remark had more to do with her friend than her.  I invited her to look underneath her friend’s mask, as it were, and see if she could see something different.  What was her friend really saying?  What was she throwing out at my sister to ward off any discovery my sister might make about her?  In the end, while she was pretty entrenched in her hurt, it was an opportunity for me to model what I espouse … truth.  Or at the very least, getting to it. Although it may not have registered as an epic moment for my sister, for me it was a tiny but significant stand that I took as me.  I was naming “what is” neutrally and with the potential of healing a hurt or educating another person about me.

So what was my disguise last night?  (Yes, I can hear you wondering.) Well, I didn’t wear a mask but I did use copious amounts of eyeliner and mascara and hairspray and went as a reasonable facsimile of Stevie Nicks.  And yes, I sang a Stevie song (Landslide), and then settled in to watch everyone else revel in their masquerades.

Happy Hallowe’en!

Authentically yours,


*a wrist action used with the rake to cause said leaves to jump from the lawn onto the tarp.  Originally developed by the landowners of Belvedere Place, it has become a trademark move.  (I'm thinking it would make a great band name ... just think ... "Live at the Orpheum!  The Belvedere Flick!  One night only!)  Okay.  I'll stop now.

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