Meltdowns and miracles.

The lead up to this latest potential end of the world, and then Christmas (if we were still here) was like the Warrior Dash obstacle course ... short, sharp, and hardcore. Talk about being given messages to STOP what I was doing!  I needed to take note and make decisions moving forward that were absolutely in alignment with who I am – not who I want people to think I am.

Everything happened at once – an unexpected tax bill for our construction company (big one), a disappointing season in my retail world, tenants moving out of my condo, Dad still in the hospital, a friend’s mother dying suddenly (younger than me), and no exciting dates – all in all, the ingredients for a top-of-the-line, Grade A meltdown.  And the constant undercurrent of another Christmas looming without Dunc and his antics would creep up on me at the most inopportune moments. Frankly I was a mess.  And of course it all culminated on the 21st of December – normally my favourite day of the year as things get brighter from that point on (although in my throes of despair I failed to see the correlation).

So I called my Mom.  My history is rife with at least one epic breakdown before Christmas each year so I’m sure she was expecting my call.  She is good.  She was able to talk me down out of my panic attack, put one of my amazing sisters on the line, and I was able to gain a toehold on the concept that I would be fine.  364 days of the year, this is easy for me to believe.  Not this day.

So enough about me.  Time for the miracle stories. I was at work and in walked this very handsome man with whom I’m barely acquainted (and on whom I have a small crush). I hadn’t seen him for about 8 months.  He presented me with the most beautiful bouquet of flowers and said he had been thinking about me and how I must be feeling about Duncan and thought I’d appreciate them. 

Next, I was performing at Cypress Mountain, and right in the middle of singing “Santa baby, hurry down the chimney tonight”, a huge avalanche of snow off the roof came crashing down outside the window behind us.  Yes, Santa had arrived. 

Later that day we continued to our neighbourhood pub and put on an impromptu carol-singing session which got the crowd into a festive mood.  One of the guys listening had tears in his eyes (I knew the look) and so I asked him what was going on.  He said he had lost his Dad two years ago on Christmas Day and that he still had a hard time with it.  It told him about Duncan and somehow, helping him realize that his Dad is always around, helped me feel better.  The next day, he arrived with a huge bouquet of flowers to thank me for my openness and tenderness.  I didn’t even know his last name.

Then came Christmas Eve with Sean and his girlfriend.  As soon as I arrived, the first words out of his mouth were, “Mom, sit down.  Put your feet up. You don’t have to do a thing. ”  I’m sure he has no idea how sweet that was to my ears.  I sank into that couch and enjoyed the evening and Christmas morning with them thoroughly.

The day after Christmas, my wasband (rhymes with husband) gave me a gift that he and his wife had made.  It is so perfectly me that I burst into tears at the thought that he still knew me so well.  It was very touching. 

Today, my friend Denise who works for me at Presence, thanked me for encouraging her to look at Christmas in a completely new way and open her heart to enjoying it.  She said it was the first time in 55 years that she really did have a good Christmas and was grateful for my inspiration.

Oh, and my condo?  It’s been advertised in every nook and cranny for a month and not one bite.  I went to a Boxing Day party, ran into an old friend who said, “Your condo in Squamish isn’t by any chance available is it?” I’m showing it to his son on January 1st. 

It’s two days until 2013.  Marty and I will be spending our third New Year’s Eve together.  Full of ritual and delight, we plan to usher in a year of riches, success on all fronts, and a lot of laughs.  I can’t wait.

Branded by miracles,

Buns.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-5oGnvfUEU