Recently I have been looking at how I’ve been trying to attract
the perfect partner or soul mate into my life.
I think I’m ready, I can manifest like the best of them, but not when it
comes to this. Clearly.
So like a witch who has to check the number of bat lashes,
frog lips, and eyes of newts she’s using in her spell, I am looking at the way
in which I can improve the recipe.
The first thing I found was that yes, I am envisioning that
it has already happened, and I have basically instructed the Universe to get to
work. What I didn’t realize was, that underneath it all, I actually had my
sights set on someone who I find particularly attractive in many ways (but who
may not be the best choice for me). So the Universe was probably waiting until I was actually
open to other possibilities.
Once I figured that one out, bang! Out of the blue, a friend introduces me to a
her friend on Faceplant, and we begin chatting. I
must say I admire the Universe’s sense of humour. This new one has the same name as the guy
that I’m fatally attracted to! There is lots of resonance with this new guy but
also a significant amount of resistance on my part. I found myself coming up
with all kinds of reasons why it might not work. And I mean really silly reasons. And then if
he didn’t get in touch for a period of time, I’d get all worried thinking I’d done
something wrong. I felt like a complete failure at this whole attraction thing.
So I had to look at that.
Did it mean that I’m not actually ready?
I had thought for a while that I was protecting my heart after losing
Duncan and so was satisfied with the myriad of male friends that I have
collected over the years, enjoying their company enormously but definitely at
arm’s length. What I realize is that
while my heart is more open, I am worried about having to suffer loss again, and so
I only have been allowing myself (or a potential suitor) to only go so far. And
then I come up with “the reason” why I’m not interested.
So how’s that been working for me so far? It hasn’t been. And yet there’s a huge part of me that absolutely
believes that everything is as it should be right now. I just might end up
being the most fascinating old single woman with a gazillion male friends and
as many stories to go along with it.
Or I might end up with the exact opposite type of guy that I think I
want and be completely and utterly in love with him for the rest of my life.
I think I’m going to put all this on the Universe’s “to do”
list and give it a rest. I’ll let you know how it goes…
Branded by whatev…
Buns
And this is a must listen... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30l0QA_ITMk
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