Yikes. The busiest
week of the year for me is the one preceding the annual Christmas event with my
spiritual community. There is much behind-the-scenes preparation which takes up
considerable bandwidth in my already hectic schedule. And wouldn’t you know it,
the clutch goes on my car a few days before the big day. Not only do I
freak out about this unexpected expense, but my stress level soars and my body
reacts by hiding behind an epic migraine. Yep.
Fun times.
The car gets fixed (thanks to my lovely roomie who magically
has it delivered to the shop), and the next day, I run out to do errands and
the #%@ing battery is dead. I’m in a dither.
And through the fog of my tenacious migraine, my hunch is that there is
a loose wire and that the battery is fine.
BCAA arrives on the scene, assures me that the battery indeed needs to
be replaced and so I fork out another handful of bills to make sure I have
wheels for the weekend.
My roomie borrows the car while I’m at work and calls me to
say the new battery is dead. Migraine
goes to the next level. Hyperventilating
is an option at this point. The car is delivered back to the shop where my new
BFF Bob sees that a wire is loose and that’s all that is wrong. I’m happy that I have functional transport
again, but not so happy that I am the proud owner of a new battery that I don’t
need.
Day three of migraine.
I begin to pay attention.
Something’s gotta give here. It’s one of my favourite weekends of the year and I can’t even eat anything! (For those of you who know me, this is the
depth of despair for me. If I’m not eating, something is definitely out of
whack!)
I run into a friend who goes into a self-deprecating routine
and my tolerance for anything like that at this point is zero. I tell him to stop it and even go so far as
to recommend a Bob Newhart YouTube segment to get my point across. It suddenly
dawns on me that you teach what you need to learn. I have just told someone to watch a piece
called “Stop It!”.
So I stopped. I took
a look at the messages that were staring me in the face. I certainly wasn’t
taking the time to make sure my batteries were charged. Rather I was charging full-speed ahead to get
things done with no connection to my actions at all. My body was yelling at me to pay attention. When
I finally realized that this is how I have grown to endure Christmas (by
disconnecting so I don’t have to feel anything emotional), I knew I wanted to
change it up.
I took a deep breath, and began to consciously experience
all the preparations for the weekend.
Every ingredient for my yummy dessert recipe was carefully measured, and
I simply slowed down to smell the baking. Something quite lovely transpired – I
actually enjoyed myself. I went from
ticking things off my “to do” list to living my “to be” list. It was a nice change.
The day itself presented me with a new milestone. I not only got through leading the Christmas
carols without tears rolling down my face, but I smiled and drank deeply from
the well of beautiful singing all around me.
I ate. A lot. My headache was gone. I was able to have the
beginning of my Christmas season fully and with ease. I am looking forward to
this whole month of mindful busyness and a lot of wholesome socializing (and all
that great food!).
Oh yes. And I called
BCAA. They are letting me keep my new
battery and giving me a credit on my account for its value.
I am fully recharged.
Authentically yours,
Buns
P.S. I leave you with
a few wise words from Bob Newhart and Willie Nelson…
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