I just
finished a weekend training called Rock the Stage with Karen Mcgregor. It was a
jam packed, info laden, edge of your seat marathon that invited entrepreneurs
to develop one signature talk that they would deliver.
Some people
were conquering their fear of speaking on stage, others their inner critics. For
me the challenge came in choosing what to talk about. I had so many tracks, so
many topics that I felt overwhelmed. I understood that once you learned the structure
you could apply it to other topics so you could have a number of signature talks
but I wanted this one to be the quintessential one. And that attachment had my
head spinning. I would come home after a full day and work till midnight only
to wake up knowing I would throw away what I had written the day before and start
again. I watched myself bounce from elation to crankiness as I wrestled with
landing in ONE topic.
They all
rested on a similar foundation, that lasting change can only occur if one is inhabiting
and feeling fully in the body but to make the topic as juicy as I wanted, had
me spinning.
Once again
the impermanence of life reminded me of what was important. My friend Andrew
read a letter from his 18 year old son Daniel on our last day of the workshop
to inspire us. Daniel had written the letter to himself three days before he
died. Dear Self, he began. As Daniels words landed in my heart, I was touched
and awed at his wisdom, at the knowing that could radiate from such a young man
with such an old soul. He reminded me of the art of appreciation, loving the
present moment exactly as it is. He reminded me of the power of gratitude and
showed me how contagious excitement and a positive edge is. He reminded me of
the beauty of tenderness and curiosity as he invited life to mark him through nature. Daniels
life was short but it was inspired and flowed with grace.
As I took
the stage to start my signature talk I knew my opening words were sparked by
his spirit.
“A palliative care nurse made a list of the
five things people regret as they are dying. The first is not living the life
they wanted but rather the life others expected of them. The second is not
feeling all their feelings and expressing them. The third is working too hard.
The fourth is not maintaining deep friendships and the last was not choosing to
be happy more often.”
I smiled inside
as I continued my talk knowing that Daniel did not have even one of those
regrets. He had lived his young life with full abandon relishing each new adventure
and welcoming the dawn of every day.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross saw death as a
graduation like a butterfly shedding its cocoon as it transitions to a new
beginning. I know for me death has been a profound teacher, a mirror that makes
sure I look at myself and live true, live real.
As
Kubler-Ross says, “It is not the end of the physical body that should worry us.
Rather, our concern must be to live while we’re alive-to release our inner
selves from the spiritual death that comes with living behind a façade designed
to conform to external definitions of who and what we are.”
Somehow I feel
certain that Daniel already knew that.
Branded by
light:
Authentically
Yours,
Marty
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