The Discipline Of Pleasure

Really? Discipline? Doesn’t just the use of that word bring up connotations of will power and self control, none of which is even remotely pleasurable. Well I have been unraveling with this idea for a few days now and I’d love to share what I mean.

Receptors are message receivers on the surface of our cells and while most of our pleasure receptors are located in the brain they are also found throughout the body. I have even heard the molecules that bind to these receptors nicknamed the Bliss Molecule. This got me thinking. What if the art of opening to pleasure became a discipline, a way of life? I am not talking about abandoning oneself to hedonistic impulse or lack of discernment or compulsively filling ourselves up due to a sense of lack. I mean the conscious invitation to open to whatever arises in the present moment without judgment. My premise is that it is in the opening itself, in the acceptance of what is, that pleasure is the result.

When you think about something pleasurable, waking up to the sound of surf in the tropics, or the smell of crisp freshly laundered sheets, perhaps the feel of sun on your skin, bites of juicy fragrant mango, music so sweet that it makes your heart ache, the touch of a lovers lips or the first melting mouthful of the dark velvety bliss of chocolate…these are all chances for our senses to open wide in gratitude for the pleasure of the moment. Even simply imagining all of life’s bounty shifts ones mood and invites an experience of pleasure. So if pleasure is a choice based on perception perhaps one could get disciplined about it and include the pleasure of feeling everything, experiencing everything.

On the path of cultivating the bliss molecule I book a massage at Chi The Spa at Shangri-La.

http://www.shangri-la.com/vancouver/shangrila/health-leisure/chi-the-spa/

Divinely decadent, expensive but totally worth the experience, especially since I was rewiring my cellular structure to create more receptors for pleasure :)  Now this won’t work if you are worried about the cost or racing to find time for the experience or judging whether you deserve it or whether it’s good or bad.  The discipline of pleasure calls for deep breaths and presence…no regrets: a full on, six sense journey into the present moment.

The names of the treatment rooms are all in Sanskrit and I was in Baskul which appropriately means ‘Starting point of journey to Shangri-La. I basked in the Feng Shui attention to detail. Each suite is different, from Jampa, Loving Kindness and Compassion to Namshe which means Consciousness, they all have a fireplace, soothing color tones, sitting areas for tea ceremonies, your own dressing room, steam shower and soaker tub.

Plush doesn’t even begin to describe the texture of the baby soft robes and blankets. You are immediately relaxed and cuddled in the embrace of a fluffy white cocoon. Fresh lemon water awaits and you can ask for your room 15 minutes before the massage in order to enjoy a steam or soak in the tub. My registered therapist Mai was lovely and her healing energy was skilled, sublime and appreciated.

 Afterwards I floated into the lounge and was met with a cup of fresh ginger tea, dates, apricots and cranberries.  My Chi was flowing and I moved with languid ease, step one on my path of being disciplined with pleasure was complete.

You may say, well it’s easy to feel pleasure when the circumstances are so pleasurable. Yes it’s true; however my goal here is to include all events, all encounters and to step out of the duality that appears to exist in this world of opposites. I share the spa experience because that is how I want to approach everything.

 I know that the inclusion of polarities and dropping the perception of good and bad, cracks the illusion of separateness. In that moment we can experience our Oneness. The aspect that is One has no distinction between this and that. It simply is. And it seems to me that pleasure can be as spiritual a pathway as any. Plus it seems like a heck of a lot of fun.

Trying to eliminate the negative to have more positive does NOT work. The very focus of trying to get rid of something, whether inside self or another, actually increases and intensifies its hold. 

And so ….The Discipline of Pleasure.  Let’s increase our dopamine receptors through a wide variety of pleasurable stimuli. Lets approach every feeling, every perceived opposite with the same welcome whether its anger, joy, chocolate, people, the irksome and the adorable, social interactions, work or spiritual practice.

It’s our attitude and living in the presence of enjoyment without judgment that will increase pleasure receptors. That’s when life goes beyond bearable into the realm of exciting, passionate and purposeful.  In giving up this futile attempt at fixing or eliminating, even in the name of healing, then all of life can be play.

So there is my new inner direction!!! And I am going to keep inviting synchronicity, playmates and experiences that align with inclusion, resulting in oneness . 

 I leave my flashlight behind as I step into knowing that not all dark places need light, that in fact they are one and the same. It is in accepting, loving and therefore integrating all aspects of these supposed opposites that separation disappears.

And in that knowing I can come to peace with desire…with all parts of myself.

Branded by the delight that what is….is.

Authentically Yours

Marty

 

 

THE SKY'S SHEET

                    
        When He touches me I clutch the sky’s sheets
                                the way other
                                     lovers
                                        do
                           the earth’s weave
                                     of clay
                       Any real ecstasy is a sign
                            you are moving
                                                                            in the right
                                                                            direction,
                                                                 don’t let any prude tell
                                                                         you otherwise.
                                                                                                                           St Teresa of Avila

There are many mystics both from the east and west who have invited a sensual relationship with divinity. They make no apologies about using the word God.  For me it’s a struggle, having been raised catholic and witnessing so much hypocrisy around organized religion. So while I shy away from the word, I am drawn to the experience. My soul demands it and will not stop sighing until I have opened as fully as possible to translating the knowing of the divine, of love, into the physical.

My soul is non dogmatic by design…and practical by nature. I want to co-create this experience with another mortal that invites touch to render all obstacles, all closures and body contractions, mere illusion.  My divine co-conspirator will help me when I quicken with fear and I too will penetrate with certainty where he is wavering. There may always be areas of  fear in our perfectly flawed  humanity yet the nakedness of the heart will prevail.

 And isn’t it strange how very similar fear and excitement can feel in the body. The shift from one to the other is a mere thought away, a mere shift in perception.

Now imagine if you will, the reaction of revealing this desire over a chilled Martini on a first date, serious attention having been paid to the mammoth olives that glisten in oily shimmers of gin. The sunny patio radiates that particular west coast glow that makes us forget it ever rains.

The response will vary, from furrowed brow to raised forehead, to a blank stare of incomprehension, never fully reaching a total eye roll, the restraints of polite convention obviously still exuding their grip, we are Canadian after all.

In the past I would have considered toning this yearning down a bit, at least in presentation. I would have talked myself into holding back explaining to myself how with time and growing trust the proposal of ecstatic union might not seem so strange, so out of the box. Yet, knowing this intense heart state can be generated internally whenever I speak freely I am left softly unattached to the response I get. I have had to learn to cultivate this non attachment when speaking of something so profoundly relevant to my soul.
The choice is always mine to open or close, to act as love or act as fear. And that choice will ultimately define whether I am able to embrace the sky with abandon.
Besides, step one in the move toward ecstasy has to be congruence. Whatever is inside matches what is outside.

And oh, when two people are able to be so transparent, in spite of fears, well joyful freedom is only a sentence away.

 Many in the new age movement talk about connection but not so many are willing to start with themselves and radical self reflective honesty. And if you don’t start there then the energy gets tied up determining what to say or do show or tell instead of determining what IS and stating that.   How else can one move to this opening to ecstasy if we are still wearing masks or concerned about reaction and strategically holding back information.

 You don’t make love with your clothes on. You don’t achieve depth and true divine intimacy without getting emotionally naked! 
And yes, sometimes facing one’s fear is an inherent part of that process.
How has it happened that this is now my bliss? I have known for some time that when I accept and reveal myself in the present moment I  connect with my essence, my arrow is pointed straight for home. Yet my yearning to be met here actually got in my way and complicated the simplicity and surety that I already connected with myself this way, I am just having a lapse of consciousness.
 Too esoteric? Quite simply, my ability to accept and reveal all of myself in the present moment is in direct correlation to my experience of the divine.
It’s a simple concrete step, right? Stop hiding and flow with what is and you then feel the union that is present in every moment.
 My soul’s desire need not be guarded or delivered on some preordained schedule of dating etiquette. If it is too frightening to contemplate for some men, then off they go. I only want one in the end, one man who deeply understands and holds this sacredness of being with as much reverence as I do.
I am breathing deeply and letting the ecstasy indicate that I am on the right track. And ecstasy comes in many flavors and colors. While laughing, raucous passion is at the top of my list it also includes the silver silence of falling snow, the weight of dessert air drawing you into the most private parts of yourself, the surf with its constant sigh transforming tension into flow.

Or as my favorite mystic/poet Hafiz has said:

                       ONLY PUCKER AT CERTAIN MOMENTS?
                    Does God only pucker at certain moments
                                               of one’s life?
                                               No way!
                                     He is the wildest of us
                                                lovers.


Look, I even invited the word God, as an attempt to move beyond the shelter of linguistic discrimination.
So I will continue to pucker up to life, even in the moments that challenge. They too deserve a kiss in the knowing that they are all designed with a secret code to help me unfold.


Authentically Yours
Marty