Playing in Playa

Now I don’t mean to make anyone in colder snowier/rainy climes envious but I am writing this week’s post in paradise. Playa Del Carmen is a dream of a destination with perks I never really associated with Mexico. Yes, its sand is virgin white and the waters so turquoise and buoyant it feels like being cradled in the azure arms of the ocean but more than that, I am newly intrigued by the people I am encountering. The town is not like any other Mexican place I have visited. The variety and mix of people from around the world makes for a very cosmopolitan vibe, from the chic Italian quarter to Philippe Stark designed restaurants that have seating configurations like still life paintings, each tableau more whimsical than the last. Alice in Wonderland would have felt right at home at Mosquito Blue!
The boutique hotels are hidden gems. We followed some ancient steps to find a rooftop with pool, lounging beds and retro movies screening on the white stone walls.  Joan Crawford in a sombrero…yikes. www.designhotels.com/deseo
Quality tequila tastings are endless. I contemplate slipping into that pool, cocktail in hand.

Local musicians are plentiful here and friendly and the characters are fascinating. Ericka who fled the frost of Sweden marrying a Cuban ex pat now runs one of the many local cigar stores. Her husband is 3rd generation in the cigar business. The frisky doorman at Club Mandala, one of dance spots I dragged my son into at 1 in the morning, who waved our cover… I think because he pegged me for a dame with a gigolo, (but don’t tell my son that as he is just growing out of his ‘I am embarrassed by my mom who can party as hard as I can” stage.

I love Juan who makes me a café latte every morning taking pleasure in the sparkle that lights up my eyes at that first magnificent sip. And the Speedos! I thought I didn’t like them but I admit I am starting to develop a fondness for the look with so many wonderfully toned men wandering about. Oh wait, I am supposed to get over the eye candy pull. Mmmmm….it really is glorious here.

The best part is spending time with my son. Yes, he still rolls his eyes when he considers what I have  said dumb, but he is also owning it and no longer making it about me. I am learning a lot about myself too. I have bounced against a few areas where I realize I am still not fully accepting myself. I have known for a while that my ability to discern what I want and go after it triggers some people. Even knowing that it is their own disowned aspect of deserving or not feeling worthy that is causing the reaction doesn’t really help me wish it wasn’t happening at all. I think that must be the part of me that wants to be liked.
Here is the query I am in. I actually discovered that some people ‘dumb down’ what they want because they don’t want to trouble another person. When I ask you what you want, I want the details so I can make it happen. It gives me pleasure to get you your heart’s desire if I can. I don’t want a dumbed down request based on politeness. I find that concept of politeness overrated. I would rather know exactly what would bring you joy in the moment.

Yet what I am hearing is when I am asked what I want, if I supply all the details some people react and judge that as entitlement, as if I am asking for too much. I shake my head, perplexed. I didn’t ask, I answered their question of me. Why would you not say what you wanted exactly, if asked? I thought when people asked me what I wanted or they ask if they could get me something, they were thinking as I do and want the details. If this seems vague here is an example. If someone says do you want something from Starbucks, saying sure I’d like a coffee is ok, saying I would like a decaf Americano with about 3 inches of cream is not. All the extra details impact some people as an imposition.

I am left pondering this difference in perception and I bump up against a sneaky little thought that says it would be so much easier to just not want anything. And yet at my core I want to taste everything AND I am grateful for it AND I want to share it AND I want everyone to have everything they want too.

I like to go big, not at the expense of another but just as part of the human adventure in sensuality. Perhaps my task is to make peace with the fact that that is not everyone’s cup of tea, or rather in my case, glass of champagne.

And now the waters are calling, I am going to try the hydrotherapy pools, water features include a cascade to relax your back while walking on stones designed to hit reflexology points.

Tonight will be dinner and a local band on the beach at Fusion then more raucous dancing at The Blue Parrot where the dress code calls for barefeet.

When I build my urban oasis back home, I want to being sand up to the deck, have a fire pit and plunge pool and call it Playa. With enough heat lamps we can have beach parties all year long.

Branded by pleasure,

Authentically Yours,
Marty

The Law of Attraction

The Law of Attraction has been getting a fair bit of attention in metaphysical circles especially since The Secret. While there is much about it all that resonates with me I also have a few beefs or places of disagreement. I am writing about it today to solidify my thoughts and anchor myself in what rings true for me.

Life has been good of late, new career openings, lots of pleasure, a few great guys I am getting to know, and I have opened to working with energy and vibration in a new way, a less cognitive, more intuitive way….hence the re examination of the Law of Attraction. I have always known that passionate desire is the invitation that calls what you want to attract into your life. Desire is easy for me to access. In all the adventures that Buns and I have had desire is a motivating factor…desire for fun, for expansion, for learning, for co-creativity…they all translate into a juicy joyful feeling in my body. When Buns and I set out to adventure, in setting a course for authenticity these other elements naturally appear.

Desire will resonate differrently for each individual. For me it generates joy, perhaps for you its a sense of peace or freedom or wholeness. What is important is to know what feelings arise in you when you imagine having what you want, when you act as if it is here right NOW. That feeling vibrates not only within one’s own body but out into the universe and is essential to the art of manifesting.  It is the spark, the accelerant that the law of attraction,’ like attracts like’ will respond to.
 
If you say you want something and then focus on how you are not receiving it, or doubt that you ever will, then that is a sure fire way to make certain that you do not receive it. Doubt attracts doubt, fear attracts fear, and worry attracts worry. Here is where we ultimately have the power to either encourage the process or sabotage it! The calling is to feel and generate the vibration inside ourselves, to live as if what you want is already here. In truth it is! The feeling that you would experience in having what you want is available to you in THIS moment. It’s our ego talking when we say; oh… once I get this or that, him or her, THEN I will be happy. Honestly if we keep taking counsel from our egos we will never be happy or satisfied. There will always be another thing, him or her, this or that, that you will think you need to be happy. Picture that carrot dangling at the end of the stick.  So the realization that it is not the thing that brings you joy, but your joy that attracts circumstances that resonate with that vibration, is important to understand.

When we describe our reality as if there is a lack or absence of what we want,  we literally create a vibration that cannot be matched with anything other than lack or absence. It’s like the phrase from A Course in Miracles “you cannot be in love and in control at the same time”. Well you cannot be feeling your lack of something and attract the 'something' you desire into your life at the same time.

So we ask for what we want, and paint a picture of it in order to feel the state it would bring us. This, in and of itself is pleasurable. Make that lover so real you can hear their voice, feel their arms around you and allow the feeling to rise up that matches that open hearted experience. If it’s a certain kind of home you desire, imagine what it will feel like when you open that front door, walk in and feast your senses on this sanctuary of yours. What does it smell like? What are the sounds you hear as you sit by the glow of your fireplace and nourish yourself reading a book, perhaps sipping a glass of rich ruby Syrah? Dream away without attachment, enjoying the process that your creative unconscious mind is offering. It’s less expensive than going to the movies and you get to cast yourself in the lead role. You get to generate all the wonderful feelings that living this way awakens in you.

So far so good, but our ego mind is not a patient and trusting aspect of ourselves. If the universe doesn’t deliver quickly enough we start to get vigilant and obsessive. We shift from this channel of pleasurable imagining and dreaming and onto a conscious mind channel full of doubt. Our ego is constantly on the alert for signs of failure and weakness and happy to re-enforce the belief that you need what you are imagining in order to be happy. And now it looks like you will never get it. And really, says the ego, without it you will never be complete.   Once those thoughts begin you are no longer radiating pleasure and joy. This is your part in aborting the creative process and instead creating a gap or chasm that makes the delivery of your desire impossible.

When you say, I need ‘it’, I don’t have it and without it I won’t be content then you are making your happiness dependent on an ‘it’ outside of yourself. That kind of thinking is out of alignment with universal law. The truth is you already have ‘it’. You proved that to yourself when you allowed your creative self to dream the details of your longing and feel the corresponding feelings that arose. You are whole and complete and have the ability to feel whatever feeling you like. Why would one choose to do anything other than live in a way that raises the feelings one values most? Why would we ascribe those feelings as if they belonged to anything outside of ourselves? I find it so important to keep reminding myself that the ‘it’ doesn’t deliver me joy. It’s my feeling joy that calls the universe’s expression to meet me. This metaphysical reality is totally opposite from what our ego would tell us.

Logically then as I act from joy and vibrate at that frequency, I am having fun. The universe loves fun and brings you more of it in chance encounters, or the oddest synchronicity.  Manifesting isn’t so much a complicated process as one that calls for trust and non attachment and the knowing that you are not waiting for anything. You are living fully connected with your core essence in the now. So you ask for something, you answer with a vibration and feeling generated from source deep within yourself and then you stay open to receiving. You train yourself to do this and glory in the knowing that “you cannot be less than you have become”.  What a great way to live life!

And here is my little beef with The Secret or interpretations of The Law of Attraction that says there is something you are doing wrong if you do not have the exact picture of what you want. It is about the assumption that you are the sole creator involved in this process.

 Here I differ. I know I am not the only player on this stage. There is a universal force at work that complements what I desire, listens and also delivers in ways that I could not possibly comprehend or come up with. That’s the beauty of the universe, the element of surprise and its inherent co-creativity with your own heart's longing. I like this knowing. I do not want to align with the notion from childhood that I can wish things into being by the solo power of my thoughts. That feels somewhat narcissistic to me.

I align with taking 100% responsibility for my part, to generate a vibration of what my heart’s desire would bring me, and live it right NOW!  I open to being surprised and non attached and surrender to the complete trust that everything is unfolding with my best interests at heart. I stay open to the form my heart’s desire may arrive in and I have fun! It’s hard to have fun when you are feeling impatient or feeling a lack. It is far more in alignment with universal law to live fulfilled, curious and flexible to the unfolding that you are part of, yet knowing you are not the only one playing.
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 It’s like the dance metaphor that keeps coming up for me. I am not living this life and dancing solo. I am not alone here energetically. When we open to this field of knowing we increase our ability to have human interactions, good ones and challenging ones, that we are able to utilize as conductors toward self- realization.

I LOVE this dance!  Cha Cha anyone?  Buns, we really need to set our next play date!

Authentically Yours,
Marty