Well it’s me again. Buns has been captured by sea creatures and is busily plumbing their depths. No really…she is swamped so I am posting two in a row.
What to share is the question…a new exploration with a musician from Alabama (yes, still taking long distance to the extreme), a new realization of what makes me tick around mutuality and relationship or ideas floating around for the next Blind Date Dinner Party?
Maybe I will start with where I am in the moment. My laptop is exactly where it belongs… on my lap.
I am looking at a stunning vista of crisp green foliage bordering the waters and mountains of the Lakehouse, where I am a constant and happy to say, welcome visitor.
It’s beautiful here and the company couldn’t be better.
At the Lakehouse we play cards, board games, cook communal meals and most importantly sing. My friend plays guitar and there is constant harmony and enthusiasm whenever he strikes a chord that is recognized.
The other game I love playing here is the creation of a list of top 5 places to live in the world. The only caveat is that everyone has to agree that they would live there.
Big dreams…big lives.
At the moment another game is in full swing. Euchre, an Ontario card game synonymous with cottage life is being raucously played tournament style.
I can steal a few moments to connect here.
I must say that this feeling of family resonates with such intensity for me. at the cottage. Finding people who are of the same tribe to share and hang with….it doesn’t get any better. I feel grateful and happy.
Cava, has just been popped, Segura Viudas a sparkling white from Spain inviting celebration of nothing in particular…or perhaps it’s because it’s cocktail hour and the aroma of roasting beef au jus is teasing the air. Regardless I can’t think of many things more merry than that sound of joyful explosion followed by laughter.
And then there is the lake. You step outside and are wrapped in the scent of fresh pine…new growth and promise mixed with the cedar scent of logs burning in the fireplace.
Do you get that I love it here? Here, I get to mull, to clear my mind and fill my heart.
So about the new man I am curious about…let’s call him Alabama. He is a bass player who seems quite awake, grounded and mellow. And while one can’t be sure of anything at this early stage, my sense of him is he is not in the least intimidated by my fierce determination to be real. That’s good!
And I stay committed to my value of living present time and noticing what is, not what I want there to be. I continue to express me, regardless of reception.
I suppose that kind of brings me to talk about mutuality in relationship.
I am so clear these days that I have no desire to shape shift or be anything other than what I am. If I am understood, wonderful…and if not…I am trusting that too. I am open and content to be living so fully alive, exploring the present as contact occurs. I can’t even imagine how hard I used to work at creating connection, how many excuses I would make for bad behavior that I couldn’t understand or all the striving to creatively invite depth.
Now I just go deep inside myself,express what I find and either he can meet me or he cannot. C’est ca.
“But why do they all seem to live so far away…I mean really…”says one part of me.
“Because love knows no boundaries, no time, or space or distance. “answers another part. “He could be anywhere on the face of this earth, I can’t let that stop me”
I am the eternal optimist, a romantic who trusts that the next adventure may be the beginning of a co-creation worth committing to…or not. I refuse to let it define who I am.
.
In the meantime, as I said on Valentine’s Day, love is a verb not a noun.
Something I can give in every moment.
And in this moment…oh my God…the cake that was in the oven for this evenings dessert is out.
Caramelized brown sugar that will no doubt result in a chorus from our Stone’s repertoire. How sweet it is!
Authentically Yours
Marty
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