Dropping the f-bomb.

I just got back from a weekend in Kamloops where our band, Fowl Mouth McPhee performed to a full house, two nights in a row.

Of course there are the usual jokes about our name.  Contrary to what gets conjured up in curious minds, it is simply a combination of our last names… few f-bombs were used in the making of this moniker.

It was a fun-filled, fabulous, and feel-good couple of days.  We sang our hearts out and laughed until we cried – over the silliest things – but for us it was a furthering of what the three of us share through our music.

The best part of the whole weekend was who showed up to support us.  It started with a long-time friend of mine, Tarzan, (yes, I have written about him before), just sauntering into the lounge as if to say “of course I’m here, where else would I be?” I couldn’t stop hugging him I was so happy to see him. Then Tammy’s sister, husband and a bunch of friends arrived.  The family-and-friend theme for the weekend was quickly emerging.

I had contacted my cousin who lives in Kamloops to let her know I’d be there on the weekend.  I hadn’t seen her for about 30 years and so I was excited that she was going to make it.  She completely surprised me by bringing her two sisters (also who I hadn’t seen for a number of years).  I’m sure you could hear us laughing for a city block when we started to reminisce about times long past and the fun we’d had as kids.  I grew up in Ontario and they in B.C. so while our times spent together were few and far between, they are cherished and memorable.

More family and friends arrived on the scene and by the time all was said and done, there were probably over 40 people who went out of their way to come and cheer us on.  Everyone socialized and got to know each other better. Some even realized that they had met before or had mutual friends.  There were some amazing connections made and I knew it wasn’t just coincidence. 

I’m struggling to describe how it felt.  Warm, inclusive, non-judgmental, supportive, forgiving, generous, poignant, and sacred.  The love was palpable.  From the stage, it felt as though I were singing to a room of open hearts.  It was hard to tell who was getting more enjoyment out of the show – us or them!

And we get to do this all over again in a few short weeks as we take part in our 6^th annual celebration of my son Duncan’s life at the Backstage Lounge on Granville Island. Not only will I sing with Fowl Mouth McPhee, but I will join the stage for a few numbers with my son Sean. If previous years are any indication, it is sure to be another night celebrating love of family and friends through music. I can’t wait.

My favourite songs are in the key of F.

F is for family.  F is for friends.

Branded by the f-bomb,

Buns xoxox

“Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and life to everything.” 

Plato

Sweet

"Love waits on welcome, not on time, and the real world is but your welcome of what always was.” ACIM

Well it’s me again. Buns has been captured by sea creatures and is busily plumbing their depths.  No really…she is swamped so I am posting two in a row.

What to share is the question…a new exploration with a musician from Alabama (yes, still taking long distance to the extreme), a new realization of what makes me tick around mutuality and relationship or ideas floating around for the next Blind Date Dinner Party?

 Maybe I will start with where I am in the moment. My laptop is exactly where it belongs… on my lap.
 I am looking at a stunning vista of crisp green foliage bordering the waters and mountains of the Lakehouse, where I am a constant and happy to say, welcome visitor.
 It’s beautiful here and the company couldn’t be better.
 At the Lakehouse we play cards, board games, cook communal meals and most importantly sing. My friend plays guitar and there is constant harmony and enthusiasm whenever he strikes a chord that is recognized.
 The other game I love playing here is the creation of a list of top 5 places to live in the world. The only caveat is that everyone has to agree that they would live there.
 Big dreams…big lives.
At the moment another game is in full swing. Euchre, an Ontario card game synonymous with cottage life is being raucously played tournament style.
 I can steal a few moments to connect here.
 I must say that this feeling of family resonates with such intensity for me. at the cottage. Finding people who are of the same tribe to share and hang with….it doesn’t get any better.  I feel grateful and happy.
Cava, has just been popped, Segura Viudas a sparkling white from Spain inviting celebration of nothing in particular…or perhaps it’s because it’s cocktail hour and the aroma of roasting beef au jus is teasing the air. Regardless I can’t think of many things more merry than that sound of joyful explosion followed by laughter.

And then there is the lake. You step outside and are wrapped in the scent of fresh pine…new growth and promise mixed with the cedar scent of logs burning in the fireplace.
Do you get that I love it here? Here, I get to mull, to clear my mind and fill my heart.

So about the new man I am curious about…let’s call him Alabama. He is a bass player who seems quite awake, grounded and mellow. And while one can’t be sure of anything at this early stage, my sense of him is he is not in the least intimidated by my fierce determination to be real. That’s good!

 And I stay committed to my value of living present time and noticing what is, not what I want there to be. I continue to express me, regardless of reception.
I suppose that kind of brings me to talk about mutuality in relationship.
 I am so clear these days that I have no desire to shape shift or be anything other than what I am.  If I am understood, wonderful…and if not…I am trusting that too.  I am open and content to be living so fully alive, exploring the present as contact occurs. I can’t even imagine how hard I used to work at creating connection, how many excuses I would make for bad behavior that I couldn’t understand or all the striving to creatively invite depth.
 Now I just go deep inside myself,express what I find and either he can meet me or he cannot. C’est ca.

“But why do they all seem to live so far away…I mean really…”says one part of me.
 
“Because love knows no boundaries, no time, or space or distance. “answers another part. “He could be anywhere on the face of this earth, I can’t let that stop me”

 I am the eternal optimist, a romantic who trusts that the next adventure may be the beginning of a co-creation worth committing to…or not. I refuse to let it define who I am.
.
 In the meantime, as I said on Valentine’s Day, love is a verb not a noun.
Something I can give in every moment.

And in this moment…oh my God…the cake that was in the oven for this evenings dessert is out.
Caramelized brown sugar that will no doubt result in a chorus from our Stone’s repertoire.  How sweet it is!

Authentically Yours
Marty