Attitude of Gratitude

The word gratitude comes from the Latin ‘gratia’ meaning favor, charm and thanks. It is similar to the Sanskrit word ‘gmati’ meaning, he praises. Today I feel grateful. This warmth in my body is calling me to get creative and express it…give it away.

My son just got back from school and writing some grueling exams. I plan on grinding up some dark roast, making his favorite omlettee, maybe even frothing his cappuccino as he claims the sofa for a well deserved day of relaxation. In truth I am not into sports on TV but with gratitude as my eau de cologne I only see how his happiness fills me with joy. So I cater and think of simple ways to let him know he is cared for. In truth it is these little acts of kindness that grow my appreciation and nourish me at the same time. There are not separate doorways one called giving and the other receiving. They are one. In the very moment I give thanks, I receive it.

I am grateful for my morning brew, gorgeous dark beans with a hint of chocolate. I am grateful that my holiday dog is coming to stay today. I am grateful for this home and the huge canvas vision board I will finish today endowing it with artistic representations of my hearts desire. And the people...all of the beautiful lights that surround me. Just thinking about it cultivates more of this delicious feeling.


Melanie Beattie, a writer who first opened my eyes to the ache of co-dependency in relationship, writes, “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”


And if you are not feeling well, if you are lost in the veil of suffering, gratitude is the quickest way I know to shift out of it. Make a list, make a call, send an email. Each action generates more of those delightful bubbles that can accompany the state of gratitude, the state of grace.


Yes, I do love that feeling of grace. It touches my vision of tomorrow with the gentle sweetness of a mother’s hand on her child’s brow. It includes hope and possibility and openness to surprises. I have no idea what will happen tomorrow but I trust that if I keep resonating with gratitude today whatever it is will support me to expand and grow. Maybe it will even make me laugh out loud!  Living in gratitude makes me feel unconditionally loved and that’s a feeling I cannot live without. I once read that when we practice gratitude it’s as if we are practicing feeling loved. That concept intrigues me and inspires me.

So I am going to go practice some more now and maybe even reach out to someone who has been on my ‘I am not so happy with you list’ in order to ripple out and radiate my true essence. Even the struggles have inherent wisdom and opportunity to stretch and grow beyond our littleness.


I will never forget the day many years ago when I called my ex husband after years of living in the war zone of legal issues. I survived those times with as much grace as I could muster and when I failed at that task I stick handled my fear like a psychotic hockey puck. 
The learning was tremendous and I woke up from the dream one day, dropped with a thud into a new knowing of my essential self and realized that EVERYTHING that had happened during those times of strife were necessary pieces for me to grow through.

I called and thanked him. He was floored and didn’t believe me but that is not the point. What I felt was real. I thanked him and felt my heart stretch. This is the person I truly am, bigger than all the judgments I had held around his bad behavior and instead able to see the pain and fear that was driving it. And the gratitude was the knowing that if he hadn’t made his choices, painful as they were at the time , I would never have reached this willingness to now be so vulnerable…all in order to live in grace.


Charles Dickens said it so very simply, “Reflect on your present blessing-of which ever man has many-not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.”


What are you grateful for?

The good, the bad …the silly?

 Who can you say thanks to today? Where are you being called to stretch?

Sleigh bells ring…are you listening?  Yes, go ahead sing it out loud.

Authentically Yours,
Marty

New Year Grace

I think I said a few posts ago that DESIRE TRUMPS FEAR. As a soul carver committed to chiseling away at my armor in order to live authentically, transparently and joyfully it is essential that my desire leads to inspired action. That old adage, talk is cheap is ringing loud this New Years.
Here is how it works. You set a goal…a goal that fills you with fantastic feelings just thinking about it. You act as if it is already true, that you already have what you say you want and that in return invites more of that same experience (since in effect you do already have the ability to experience the state you desire RIGHT NOW). So as Buns has said we rang in our New Year in sensual luxury, in abundance, in friendship and authenticity at The Sorrento, a lovely European feeling boutique hotel reminiscent of an Italian villa. www.hotelsorrento.com

……minus Chicago. Did I hear a loud groan from the gallery? You should have heard the sounds in my head when he sent a text saying that he had missed his morning flight to Seattle and was on standby.
Buns, The Robert and I had a glorious sunny day at Pike Market in Seattle shopping for prosciutto, cheeses and crusty bread for our evening feast. We chatted with shoppers connecting over olive choices, “stuffed with anchovy or blue cheese?... hell let’s get both”….beautiful wines and many other delectables that fulfilled the whimsy of having whatever we wanted. A fondue set was purchased for dipping fruits in heavenly chocolate and The Robert and I stood in line for homemade mini donuts exploding with chewy warmth as they hit your tongue. I knew we couldn’t wait…rich dark coffee was ordered immediately so the taste testing could begin! I was filled with a deep sense of gratitude and appreciation for all of life’s pleasures and the sheer joy of good company and laughter…of being so fully alive. The Robert is a funny guy in a dry zinger kind of way. We tried to talk him into buying a hat; he would have none of it although he did insist on trying one on that made him resemble the Mad Hatter from Alice. Most importantly though The Robert is kind, that quality is foremost and was so appreciated especially as the reality that Chicago was not getting on flight after standby flight.

Finally the text came that Chicago had given up, I had still held out hope having cast him in some Errol Flynn role where no obstacle would have stopped him from his intended arrival….and now it was done.

That was my choice point, the moment of decision, inspired action or let Chicago’s choices impact and derail me? Do I stay true and connected to my own desire and light or believe I am Alice falling down the rabbit hole of confusion. It was the Eve of a New Year…I chose to do a Grace Kelly. I use the words ‘Grace Kelly’ as a verb….to act with grace, authentic soft vulnerability, healthy pride and an eye on the positive, taking the high road whenever presented with obstacles.
I headed for the bath. Water is always my first line of response whenever I feel overwhelmed. I need to get clear and soaking in a huge old world bathroom surrounded by pristine snow white marble, sipping Pellegrino is a Grace Kelly way of doing it. I pulled my energy back into myself and grounded…then I dressed up. See that’s the inspired action part, what you do IS important. You can have all the greatest desires or intentions and if your actions are not in alignment with them nothing will shift or materialize. My actions were in line with my commitment, my values of joy and fun and while I did not understand what all this chaos with Chicago was for I trusted that if I stayed true to myself the information would become clear.

So I donned my tiara (no for real, not metaphoric) wearing a tiara reminds me of celebration. I put on my most sparkly bling, adorned myself with the love and care I so desired.
Then we set decked the room with scented candles, red sheer cloth and bouquets of white tulips. Rocks we had bought earlier from an artist at the market completed the tableau, my favorite read Carpe Noctem (seize the night) AND SO WE DID. The Robert and Buns and I laughed and cried and flowed, as did the music and wine. Ok, disclaimer… the Robert did NOT cry but he did say to me more than a few times when I started to spiral down the rabbit hole ” Snap out of it” His wit was valued. Their generosity of spirit both in receiving me and sharing their love was much appreciated. I felt blessed.
And when midnight rolled around and we had ventured down to the fireside lounge to listen to the 1930’s inspired band Rosie and The Percolators croon Auld Lang Syne I gave thanks for a year gone by of growth and learning and blossoming friendships. I did feel sad for a moment. That song always makes me cry and since we are remembering the past 365 days of the year that actually seems ok to me. Some of the things that transpired were sad.

And this year I invite passion…even more passion. I will continue to take risks, exposing everything that might block my heart from feeling the warmth of the love that is ever present. I will have lots of Grace Kelly moments.

As for dating, and Chicago ...


I have asked for what I needed…the ball is in his court, the challenge is his to step up and demonstrate actions in alignment with his professed values…or not. I only know that waiting is not what I am here to do. I will live this year in passionate connection in each moment, with myself, with my friends, with work and with each human encounter that presents itself. I keep on saying YES. BRING IT!

And to all of you…..From Buns and Marty we wish you a Graceful, Shiny, Bold and Bedazzled 2011.

Newsflash: The Be-dazzler IS making a comeback.