Saturday, November 20, 2010

Fledgling Flinchlessness

Hey Marty ... great talking to you and your soul-sister-in-law today. The excitement builds.  After yesterday’s watershed moments and a good night’s sleep, I am getting ready, with renewed vigour, to take another step in the direction of my heart’s desire... that is toward unfailing flinchlessness.  (Say that three times, Peter Piper!)

I heard that term just the other day (deep bow M) and I have been trying it on for size.  I quite like how it looks and feels.  At first, I related it to the flinching that I’ve experienced many times that accompanies something less than desirable, like eating a chocolate-covered bumblebee, or walking barefoot through a campsite at night knowing you might slip on a banana slug – you get the picture.

Then I realized that what was being pointed at was a completely different kind of flinching… that kind when you know what the truth is, it’s staring you right in the face, and your fears of expressing it or acknowledging it far outweigh your ability to sit with it or express it out loud.  I know you know what I mean.  So I’m going to get out my sewing machine, make myself a cape, and stand on the top of some pedestal (how’s that for a bold-faced metaphor?), cape blowing in the wind, arm stretched high, clasping a torch for all to see… and be a Freedom Fighter for Flinchlessness! (I always wanted to be an uber hero!)

But before I scale my way to the top of that pedestal, I’m thinking I should practice a bit first.  When I read your post, I was feeling your determination to use what you called “the crashing of the world” to expand and teach yourself grace.  How lovely.  If you and I can keep talking about expanding into and living in our graciousness using all the experiences we attract (no matter how difficult, challenging, or heart-wrenching, they may be), I think we can make a difference.  I know that’s what I’m here for actually.  But I have to walk the talk.  And that’s where the flinchlessness comes in. So I want you to call me on it any time you see me flinching.

And about your new man!  How ’bout that? He sounds almost as good as mine!  Seriously, the way you describe him is exactly how I would describe Robert.  I am feeling incredibly blessed that he and I have reconnected after all these years. 

As for your “big breath and another leap off the cliff”, I’m with ya Thelma.

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