Sunday, November 21, 2010

An Act of Unflinching Fearlessness

I am in! I will be your flinching buster as I hope you will be mine. Whenever you see me playing small call me on that too, OK? The only obstacles to magnificence and adventure are inside our heads and I commit to flushing them out.
I want to tell you my soul sister's story.

When I knew her many years ago, she was a wild child, a free spirit without a home, a rebel with many causes, exuberant fashion sense and a creative bent that while brilliant also left her feeling alone and dissatisfied with life....with herself.

She struggled with love... being loved, giving love, knowing love. She had a marriage that ended, two girls she raised on her own and lots of challenge and pain.

Finding spirit she found herself and long story short she blossomed into a woman of substance and faith. In her words, she said she decided after years of unravelling herself in therapy to learn to commit to one important lesson.... keeping her heart soft when it felt like closing. So similar. Perhaps women are being called everywhere to this task and in doing so will regain a sacred knowing of our deepest femininity and power.

Back to her story.

As she committed to this path she was internet dating. She wasn't on long before she received a nudge. Its like a wink but without text. Like fishing without a worm and most women don't respond. If a man can't write an email introducing himself properly its like a flag that they can't be bothered to step up and won't actually know how to lead.

And really, it doesn't matter how successful and independent we are don't we all love a man confident enough to lead.

This time she checked him out. He was cute and she decided to respond. Just as she was writing him his email to her came in. They meet at Starbucks, the internet daters salon of choice and she knows there is something...not sure what, but something.

And so it begins... the relationship, an often intense learning ground delivered by a very creative teacher. They are on again, off again. She remains steadfast and committed to keeping her heart open no matter what....he is wavering, afraid of commitment, unsure if this is the one.

Like in a storm she stands in her openheartedness accepting whatever his choice is, feeling her pain yet rather than blaming him for it using that intensity of feeling to propell her into knowing herself and living her life full out.

The more she keeps the focus on what she is doing, thinking, feeling inside herself, the more he returns questioning himself and yearning for her.

Finally this last go round of breaking up and getting back together he asks her to marry him. She hesitates.

One day he feels he has the flu, thinks he has caught a bug. She is alone at home wishing he would call, determined not to call him him space.

He is alone at home getting sicker and sicker.

When they finally get him to the hospital he is diagnosed with flesh eating disease.

WHAT! The words ring total terror in my heart. I can't even imagine the depth of anguish they had to go through.

Time was of the essence. They needed to sedate him and moved to surgery to remove his limbs. Flesh eating disease is caught from the same bacteria that gives people strep, the same bacteria can be eradicated with antibiotics in some and in others like this case becomes life threatening.

He had no idea.

He woke up 3 weeks later from sedation still thinking he had had the flu. They had to tell him more than once that his leg was amputated from the hip down on one side, from below the knee on the other, his fingers on one hand and his entire forearm and hand on the other.

They were worried he wouldn't survive.
She stayed by his side, in prayer and playing this song over and over.

When he awoke it was the only thing he remembered...this song...her love.

It's been 6 months. He is using a prosthetic and has taken his first steps. An athlete before all this he remains full of life force and spirit. They are planning their wedding ... bound in a love that is of the soul....a sharing of essence.

I met him this morning on Skype, funny, smart, irreverent, cracking jokes and teasing his woman. Talk about unflinching. I am inspired by these two, inspired and a little awed by their blind trust in love and each other.

The wedding is this June at a little vineyard in Ontario.

In this moment I am grateful for my life and the people in it, for you my friend, for new possibilities and for the grace of living life without flinching.


  1. Your words bless me more than you know. Thank you for honoring us in our incredible journey called life. Xo love Lovely

  2. You my dear heart, my sister, my friend are a heavenly treasure and an earthly delight.

  3. I have a tragic way....that life is fragile....tomorrow.....never promised. What inspiration these two have provided me. There is no magic wand to wave, no tasty potion to sip. The only requirement is keep your heart open for love....without flinching. Errol